Ah Beng (Latest Version)

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

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Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

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Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

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Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

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Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.

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Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

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Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'. He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

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How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

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Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot

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Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

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Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

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A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning?
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM


Have a good day!
if it's still before 7..

Annoying

Chain mails/letters/notes/whatevers/time-wasting faeces

Do NOT read them if you think that you are not ready, just scroll down to:
" *** And one of my favourites "



What you may see on youtube :

" Please dont read this you will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by the love of your life tomorrow will be the best day of your life however if you dont post this comment to at least 3 video "


Facebook :

" PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. xSEND THIS OVER TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS...... "


Bored.com ..? == :

" PLZ DO NOT READ DIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON DA NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY DA LOVE OF UR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST DIS COMMENT 2 AT LEAST 3 OTHER GAMES YOU WILL DIE NO JOKE I JUST GOT KISSED "

yeah..it's all about kissing huh?

" There was once a 17 year old girl named Mandy who was walking in the woods.An hour later, Mandy's mother found her dead on the bathroom floor. If you don't copy and paste this into this and 4 other posts, you wll meet the girl in the mirror and she will come out and kill you "

okay..maybe not





*** And one of my favourites :

" copy and paste this if you think the chain mails are dumb "


HELL YEAH! THEY ARE OH MY GODNESSLY FUCKING SHIT



How to overcome these crap :

1. No matter how real they sound (yes I know you are reading them)... just forget it ==
as if you can't create something like that too, c'mon you have a brain

2. You may send back something like " copy and paste this if you think the chain mails are dumb " yeah... nice

3. Or you may create your own anti-chain mail ... chain mail ==
eg:
yo sup, how yar doin? u dont need to noe me, if u really wana noe, u can talk to me mum, she noes wut happened after me suicide when me got this shit.
" pass this message to at least 3 people and then kill yourself to get $10,000,000 immediately before you die, it really worked for me (as i cheated death, which might happen to you too) "
so.. dont belief in chain mails, yea... btw i owe streamyx ;)

4. if you've read the chain mails above and feel like killing me, i can do nothing about it since you can't even control your own eye balls and so you dont deserve to own them.

Have a nice day ^_^



ONCE YOU READ THIS, IT MEANS THAT YOU ARE DEFINATELY NOT BLIND!
AAAAAAHH

umm

...

...

...

...

...

WARNING

the following ... uhh stuff

may make you feel uneasy

please be ready

when you are ready to witness...

sounds odd but still...

i want to have it this way ...

=/

DotA vs. 300

From: MiXE3Y



told you... anyway it was nothing much =_=



Ok i'll post another video which is even better... i think, so that this post won't be so bad ==


Sham WOW! vs. Bill o reily



sorry, there's just too many i'd like to show you =)


THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU'LL EVER SEE

_

First Week of Exam

What happened on..


Monday,
OMG EXAM ALREADY WTF WTF WTF
eh.. tomorrow

Tuesday,
Moral! on of the most useless subject in history (although the statement is the opposite when you see it in an essay)
..... nothing much about moral, except for the recycling bin thing -.-
Brown : brown eh.. seems like you store used dirt in there
Green(or was it? can't remember) : oo leaves
Blue : hey how come this ain't wet?!

Wednesday,
Biology paper2 ... never tougher =)
English paper1... I guess you've also had a good time complaining while writting the letter eh? " your faeces like service disgust me, oh my god! ... "

Thursday,
Physics paper2, sorta didn't do the structure question on d prism thingy cuz i forgot to bring my calculator... how do u count sin? ==
Bahasa Malaysia paper1, used moral nilais for the essay on global warming =D

Friday,
Chinese paper1... realised that the person on my left was taking Islam... dammit, jkjk =/
Sejarah paper 2, i heard that the cleaner lady threw the sejarah book that she found in the toilet o_0"



Another random tip of the day :

Make sure you have everything you need to use during the exam, THEN only you go to school, or you'll regret... D=



...



..OMFG didn't even thought of writting on mengitar semula for the bm essay on global warming!! crap..

_

Ugh..

Damn can't think of anything else to post cuz of the exams

as handcock would've said... " Hishammuddin's head is goin up his ass "


umm..



Random tip of the day :

Prevent overeating by only eating until you're about 80% full :)

- Helps to prevent err.. gaining weight ._. and not eating till you're so full, someone would've played a Tuba behind you while you're walking on the streets...

beware.. ==

_

They may be old songs to you..

I was sorting the things in my comp... many things cuz it almost spilt out some and i came across these songs...



Linkin Park - Hands Held High lyrics


Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drum and

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the cheque
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

[Chorus:]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"

[Chorus x6]

[x6]
With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you.


[ www.azlyrics.com ]


Hands Held High - Linkin Park


From: liberallondre123






and also



Black Eyed Peace - Where is the love lyrics


What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the love2x)

It just ain't the same all ways have changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars' going on but the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where's the love y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the truth y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the love y'all?

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the lovex2)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading anomosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feeling under
I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(fade)


[www.lyrics007.com]


Black Eyed Peace-Where is the love(war edition)


From: andy2000531


Err... btw, I'm a buddhist :)
_

some of Jack Neo Productions

Jack Neo Army album (Hokkien soldier)



From: jackneo888


" 这是一首70年代新加坡福建兵的心声。
Singapore 70's hokkien soldier song. "





want more...? Then say somemore -.-



Best of Muthu (from Just Follow Law)



From: albertsquare87


" Best of Muthu compilation from Just Follow Law...

Had some free time so cut some of his bits out I think he is hilarious haha! Feel free to leave me comments or messages if you have any questions... "

_

A True Story

Caution : Only read this when you have spare time =]


This story is based on what I've heard ( actually... remember =S ) from the very wise and handsome Wai Hong. As my memory is terribly unreliable, do refer to the great wiseman if you want to listen to the actual story =/




It started off with a lovely couple... they had a little baby boy. This small, little, tiny... not big boy was able to walk on his feet and even talk just at the age of ... 6 months... Then, he went to a kindergarten and he was able to learn all 3 languages, maths, everything and he was just too intelligent to be there. As his parents were so proud, they asked him what he wanted as a reward and he said he wanted a red skin ball [红皮球]. So the parents gave him a red skin ball just as promised.

At the age of 4, he's already studying in a primary school. Not that he couldn't catch up, but instead he got 1st in class! Yala... I noe u're used to this kind of thing edi, sounds normal rite? =.= Ok... next, as expected lo, he got 7A's in his UPSR... at the age of 7. So, his parents felt so proud and asked him what he wanted as a reward again. " Tu satu bola yang kulit merah punye dah cukup. "

After that, he moved on to secondary school loh. Got 1st in class la... PMR 8A's la... SPM 24A's break record la... ah, the usual. His parents are so amazed and almost panicing, running around in circles and then asked him what he wanted as a reward again. The son said he wanted a red skin ball and another red skin ball was given to him.

What's next? He went to college lah of course, 16 years old already mah. Got Diploma in Medicine... Degree... Masters... Phd... GOD's certificate for Medicine. Parents suffered from several heart attacks but still survived, cuz he's the doctor ma... so the parents managed to ask him again, boy wad do yu wan us to buy for yu? " Red balls would do "

He earned his first Billion at the age of 21... which was also the 1st time he could enter a casino... nvm... However, he though that all these medicine stuff was so sien, so he decided to be an athlete! So... he began his training... after 10 very, very, very long ..... months, he was able to represent Malaysia in the Olympic Games in EVERY single event and he got gold in every single event too. Wah, this time his parents, like clowns edi. -beep-beep-boop-boop- *twists a balloon* Zai ah, u wan this? " No... I want a red skin ball =) " aiyoh, the balloon also red mah... ah nvm la

" Wah, getting gold medals could actually be so god damn BORING, might as well go and travel around the world..... eh, good idea hor =.= " and so... he went around the world in 80seconds using the plane he built by himself. With such an achievement, his parents asked him what he wanted again and they got the same answer. A red skin ball.

Unfortunately, as a godly genius, he wasn't given the chance to live long, and so he passed away, of uhh... breast cancer if I'm not mistaken... yea.... and his parents were so broken down, even the best mechanic could not fix'em.

Looking at their son's collection of red skin balls in his room, they still haven't stopped wondering WHY THE HELL won't he ask for anything dumb thing else?!@

Then, they found a piece of paper on the floor. It stated " the answer you seek, lies at the highest peak " WAH, FINALLY. THIS F****** STORY IS GONNA END@! The parents went to the highest peak of Mount Everest. They dug through a thick layer of snow and found a small chest. Inside, was another note. The note leads to another clue, which can only be found in one of the toilets in Yang di-Pertuan Agong's Palace.

They wanted to know so badly that their curiosity had almost lead them to their death sentence for breaking into the toilet. Luckily, one of the servants who was in the toilet, was only bathing. They found the clue right at the first place they spotted, the golden toilet bowl. There's a note. The servant said that it was there because ... he can't remember... ok... oh ya, the note stated that the final answer is in their very own kitchen !!!

waaaa they rushed back soooo quickly that they banged their kitchen so bad, the whole place exploded.




Hope you have enjoyed.

dengan Jebat _

What to do..

" Eh zai ah, when is you're next exam ah ? "

o.o" ... dunno




" Study hard and you get a good grades "

" Yu dun setadi u dai ah ! "


Exam oh exam... kenapa kau ni selalu menyusahkan kehidupan kami ini...


Besides having an exam timetable, there are other signs that can show that a catastrophic disaster is nearing...

So sad...


Ok, back to the topic
( you may have a different order, so... please don't criticise me / . \ )


perhaps you'll prefer them in point form o_o


- you will notice that more and more people are able to answer Pn Lim's questions...

- more and more people are absent... day by day

- however, more people TURNED UP for their tuitions -.-"

- more stress / emo / scary people..

- teachers are also struggling to finish the syllabus

- more people asking " eh, you know how to do this ar? " while pointing at exersice books that you've never seen before

- people either lose weight... or gain weight ._.

- " eh Ali, nanti mau pergi main bola? "
" u pergi lah... "
" like that la?! mau jadi kutu yer? "

- less people in your 'online' list in msn

- less people in garena also...

- uhhh.... cannot remember

- now got how many edi ah?

- oh

- and... (doesn't mean that this is the last one) more and more people asking you this question ... " You study edi? "

- you feel annoyed and you answer " no "

- as for me... I'm telling the truth =S

- Bukan itu sahaja... maybe got people suddenly experience alien abduction

- and also... less people reading this blog T_T

- aiyah lazy to think liao. I'm sure u also noe edi rite? =.=" wasted my time...



anyway... hehe no videos in this post ^^ cuz... I understand that you will notice that you've just wasted so much time as well, reading this dumb post while you haven't even touched the book in front of you


Walau bagaimanapun, if you're reading this after the exams rite... I have nothing to say =_=

Tuah _

Enjoy!

Somehow... I got this


The Impossible Quiz

Quiz SourceLearn to Put Games on Your Blog

=.=... care for more?

sharing is caring... =)


The Impossible Quiz 2

Quiz SourceLearn to Put Games on Your Blog

Pertarungan _